Relationships – Christian Unschooling

The Biggest Transformation of All

It took me until my 30’s to even begin to learn what it even means to be in control of my own problems. I’m still working on it as I look ahead into my 40’s. I was rereading this post about unschooling apraxia by Jennifer McGrail. The following phrase jumped out at me:

“His not being able to tie well or write neatly are not an issue unless he decides they’re an issue.”

Did anyone along the way ever teach you that there isn’t a problem unless you decide there’s a problem? Or, like me, did you learn from early childhood that everyone else around you must be right about what’s problematic… and they have the right to define it for you? Continue Reading

How Value Bias Blinds Us

“I refuse to allow my kids access to the addictive agents such as video games and leisure tv (cartoons) all day.”

– Christian Unschooling forum user

“refuse” – That is problematic.

“addictive” – That is problematic.

“all day” – That is problematic.

You have set up beliefs on false information that seems reasonable and true because it is touted by “experts” and from “pulpits” and “tradition” etc.

Getting to the root of your “why” on such things will help you to see that they are fear based. Continue Reading

Unpacking the Parent-Child-Education Conundrum

In a recent conversation about homeschooling special needs (dysgraphia, dyslexia, etc.), a new homeschooler/education adventurer said the following to me. It’s a common reaction, especially if you have limited experience with homeschooling overall.

“I don’t think unschooling is for us. I like the ideas, but I panic. My kids are already middle-school age and I only have a limited amount of time left. And it makes me really uncomfortable. And, I’m a writer. That’s really important to me. I want them to read. Everyone in my family reads. I really think they need to as well.”

I chose not to respond at the time, because it felt like anything I might say would add pressure to a person already putting intense pressure on herself. Knowing that this woman was already maxing out her courage, it seemed like a time to just listen.

Someday, sometime, this is what I’d wish for her to think about. Continue Reading

How We Fund Our Unschooling Life

Our daughter was 11 when we unenrolled her from public school. For the first 11 years of her life, I worked full-time-plus, in an office, and for several of those years, I was also a full-time college student. My husband works a 55-hour-a-week office job as well (much of that in the late evening and early morning hours), and there were days we felt like we didn’t even see our house, or each other. Continue Reading

Does Unschooling Spoil the Child? A Candid Conversation

This discussion appeared recently on the Christian Unschooling Facebook Group:

SARAH D: So, I’m reading a lot regarding unschooling at the moment, most of it seems to be geared towards giving our children all their wants/needs – first thing is this scriptural? Wants not needs – I mean, should we get our children all their wants? Will they not turn into spoilt brats? Secondly, what if you just can’t facilitate them? Financially, space-wise, time etc?

Parenting Beyond Boundaries

Lately, I have had some phrases bopping around in my mind:

“Parenting without limits/boundaries,”

“unlimited freedom,”

“no boundaries” …

I’ve also been meditating on the verse –

“It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

Discovery Channel Doesn’t Count

Reading a friend’s homeschooling blog I spotted a troll who commented, “Who ever learned anything at home? Discovery Channel doesn’t count.”

I didn’t enter unschooling with a lot of skepticism, and I haven’t received many surprises from unschooling that are not common to parenting in general, but statements such as that one do rather stun me to disbelief. Continue Reading

Unschooling Hopes

What I hoped to see happen in unschooling my children was simple. I wanted a life where school simply wasn’t. I wanted my kids to fully experience life–not a different kind of schooling, not school at home, not superior curriculum. I wanted to continue raising kids that love life and love learning about all kinds of things this spectacular world has to offer.

One of the first ‘a-ha’ moments, if you will, happened one warm September afternoon when we were all just hanging about outside. The kids, around six and eight years old (if I’m remembering correctly) were looking at various things under the microscope my husband had set up on the picnic table. They were bringing us all kinds of things to look at–water from a puddle, grass, toenails, bugs both dead and alive, hairs both human and dog/cat/critter…you name it, they wanted to put it under the microscope. We’d been at this for awhile on that evening, the four of us enjoying our time together outside and exploring the microscopic world. Continue Reading

Unschooling to Us Is About Being Whole

When we first started on our unschooling journey, I was desperately trying to ease the frustration that my daughter and I had over the formal curricula I had chosen.

Unschooling was an escape from the tests, grades, and pressures of academia. But over the years, unschooling has come to mean much more to us.

Unschooling to us is about being whole.

whole: adjective

comprising the full quantity, amount, extent: entire, full.
containing all the elements properly belonging; complete.
not broken, damaged, or impaired; intact.

Giving in to My Kids (or, Why I Unschool)

A friend who replicates school at home in her homeschool once said to me, in a comparison of our parenting and homeschooling styles, “I know you give in to your children, and that’s okay, that’s your choice …”

Frankly, I was too taken aback at the flat statement to respond at the time, but I thought about it a lot afterward. And here’s what I thought: I don’t give in to my kids … but I can see why she thinks that I do.

Christian Unschooling